Social–emotional Part 1

The Importance of Relationship Skills (Including Social Problem-Solving)

Relationship skills are a core foundation of social–emotional development. For children ages 3–5, this skill refers to how they interact with others, form friendships, cooperate during play, communicate their needs, take turns, understand social cues, and work through small conflicts. Social problem-solving is a major piece of this skill set—it includes figuring out what to do when disagreements happen, how to negotiate during play, how to share materials, and how to express emotions or needs in ways that maintain positive relationships.

During the preschool years, children learn that other people have thoughts, feelings, and perspectives that may differ from their own. This awareness helps them understand fairness, empathy, and cooperation. Because their social world is rapidly expanding—classmates, teachers, siblings, and community members—children need strong relationship skills to navigate group settings. These skills support friendships, play experiences, communication, and emotional safety.

Preschoolers are naturally curious, impulsive, and still developing self-regulation skills. Social problem-solving provides them with the tools to slow down, think, and choose appropriate responses. They begin to practice steps such as identifying the problem (“We both want the truck”), generating ideas (“Let’s take turns”), trying a solution, and adjusting as needed. They also learn to listen to peers, use words instead of physical behavior, and accept guidance from adults. Strong relationship skills create a foundation for both social success and academic engagement—they help children feel connected, confident, and ready to learn.

Why Is This Important?

Relationship skills and social problem-solving are essential because preschoolers need them to build healthy friendships, communicate effectively, and participate in group learning. Children with strong relationship skills are better able to cooperate, follow routines, handle conflicts calmly, and express needs appropriately. These competencies support positive classroom behavior, reduce stress, and create a safe environment where children feel valued and understood. When children understand how to negotiate, share, listen, and take turns, they experience richer play and deeper learning opportunities.

These skills also prepare children for kindergarten and long-term success. Research shows that strong relationship skills in early childhood are linked to better academic performance, mental well-being, and fewer behavior problems later in life. Children who know how to solve social problems are more resilient—they can recover from disappointments, handle transitions, and work through disagreements independently or with minimal help. Developing relationship skills early supports a lifetime of positive communication and healthy social connections.

What Does It Look Like?

You can see strong relationship skills in preschoolers when they greet friends, include others in play, share materials, and negotiate roles (“You be the doctor, and I’ll be the nurse”). Children who are developing social problem-solving skills use words to express feelings (“I’m upset”), ask for help when needed, and try solutions like taking turns or making a plan together. They can listen to others’ ideas, recognize when someone is sad or frustrated, and attempt to comfort or include them. During conflict, they pause to think, use teacher-guided strategies, or try peaceful solutions.

In everyday play, relationship skills show up in small but meaningful ways: inviting others to join a game, waiting patiently for a turn, using gentle touches, apologizing after mistakes, or helping a friend clean up. Children demonstrate social awareness by noticing body language, responding with kindness, and adapting their behavior to the group. These observable actions reflect growing empathy, self-regulation, cooperation, and independence.

What Happens to Children Who Do Not Develop It?

Children who struggle with relationship skills often face difficulties forming friendships, joining play, or communicating their needs in positive ways. They may become easily frustrated, resort to hitting or yelling, withdraw from group activities, or misinterpret social cues. Without strong problem-solving skills, small conflicts quickly escalate into bigger emotional challenges. These children may experience social rejection, loneliness, or ongoing conflict with peers.

As they grow, lack of social–emotional competence can affect school readiness and academic learning. Children who cannot manage conflict, follow routines, or cooperate with classmates have a harder time focusing and completing tasks. They may become labeled as “behavior problems,” experience low self-esteem, or feel misunderstood. Long-term consequences may include anxiety, difficulty maintaining relationships, and challenges adapting to new environments. Early support makes an enormous difference.

How to Help Your Preschooler Develop It

Adults play a crucial role by modeling calm communication, empathy, and problem-solving strategies. Use real-life moments to talk about feelings (“You look upset”), name emotions, and teach children simple steps for solving problems—stop, think, identify the problem, and try a solution. Guide children in practicing turn-taking, sharing, and cooperative play. Encourage them to use words rather than physical behavior and praise efforts to solve problems independently.

Consistent routines help children feel safe enough to take social risks and practice new behaviors. Reading books about friendship and conflict, role-playing social scenarios, and offering gentle coaching during disagreements all support growth. Most importantly, create an environment where mistakes are seen as learning opportunities and where children feel safe, supported, and connected.

Activities That Promote It

Role-Play Scenarios – Practice sharing, taking turns, and solving pretend conflicts.

Cooperative Games – Parachute play, building towers together, and simple partner tasks.

Emotion Cards or Feelings Charts – Teach children to identify and communicate feelings.

Turn-Taking Games – Board games, passing games, or “Friendship Ball” activities.

Problem-Solving Circles – Discuss what to do in real or hypothetical conflicts.

Buddy Tasks – Pair children to complete simple jobs (clean up, sort items, carry supplies).

Kindness Challenges – Encourage small acts like helping a peer or offering comfort.

Dramatic Play – Encourages negotiation, cooperation, and understanding others’ ideas.

Social Stories – Short, simple stories that teach friendship skills and conflict resolution.

Happy Teaching!

Linda C